Madhouse
by randomly
Summary: As the title says, this is a slightly insane crack fic... Humour, suggestiveness... you name it... Shoret ficlet written in the middle of the night thanks to sLocks... 'Sequel* ItaDei smut posted: If You Wanna... I might


**Random**** Rambling: Don't ask. Just don't. This was written after a conversation with my dear sLocks in the middle of the night, and that makes me mentally unstable and more random than usual, so it resulted in some random Sakura bashing, and, well, mocking of them all in some way, I suppose…. And Itachi's cheesy **

**If you don't want to read the crack that I wrote then I propose you click the back button now, but if you do, then go ahead. Oh yeah, and there's no point in flaming it if you don't like it, I already warned you it's mentally unstable…**

**Okay, it's not that I hate Sakura, I just don't like Sakura pairings, which is how this all originated, a discussion about ItaSaku turned into derangedness, turned into this… **

**Oh, and if you 'like' it or want smut, read the end note **

…  
Lock says:  
okay, that made me feel a little happier... just the picture of Sakura in Akatsuki xD

Lock sier:

Kisame would've killed her after a day

Randomly sier:

hahaha, she doesn't look good in the coat

Randomly sier:

"it doesn't match my hair, have it in pink size small?"

Lock sier:

Kisame: kill

Lock sier:

Itachi: ...

Randomly sier:

and then came Deidara BANG

Lock sier:

Deidara: DAMMIT, KISAME! I WAS GOING TO KILL HER!

Sasori: She called me a barbie! A BARBIE!

Randomly sier:

now i wanna write crack about that

Lock sier:

me too

Randomly sier:

Sasori: she wante'd to play with me

Randomly sier:

get it, he's a doll  
**...**

Have… fun

**Madhouse**

Sakura: Eww! This Coat's too big, and it doesn't even match my hair with all this redness… Damn!

Itachi: Why'd pain let her join, remind me please?

_a paper crane falls down__ to the ground, the poofs into:_ Conan: Even I don't know. She could have slept with him, though I doubt that wouldn't help since every single guy in this fucking universe - yes, even you , admit it – is gay… or she just talked so much that he told her yes to shut her up, I don't know.

Itachi: He couldn't just have killed her?

Sakura: Do you have this cloak thingy in pink size small?

_the sound of tearing flesh and squirting blood, then laughter_

Kisame: Damn, that felt good…

Deidara: Damn it! I wanted to do that with my beautiful art explosives, but no… Every time I want to show off my art _something_ gets in the way…

_One of Sasori's puppets is mutilating the corpse_

Deidara: Ne, Sasori, what are you doing?

Sasori: She called me a girl…

Haku appears out of nowhere: I get called a girl all the time… In fact, my boyfriend Zabuza didn't know I was a boy until the first time we… you know… did it…

_Everyone stares at Haku, who starts making out with Zabuza who also appears, then they both leave_

Itachi: Who the hell was that?

Kisame: No idea…

Itachi: Sasori, stop mutilating the god damned corpse

Sasori _rocking back and forth_: She said she wanted to _play _with me

_Itachi, Kisame, Deidara and Conan Laugh_

Deidara: Well, you are a doll, aren't you?… Barbie!

Sasori: Stop

Deidara: Barbie!

Sasori: Stop it please!

Deidara and Itachi: Barbie and Sakura up in a tree, F-U-C-K-I-N-G!

Sasori: You're gonna get it now!

Shikamaru _appears_: This is so troublesome… _disappears_

Conan: Later _turns into a paper crane and flies away_.

Itachi _being approached by an angry Sasori:_ Damn… Damn Sharingan powers, where are you when I need you?

Kisame: I'm taking no part of this _slowly stepping backwards_

Deidara: Gomen ne! gomen ne, gomen ne, gomen ne…!

Kankuro _appears out of nowhere_: Sasori… Where's my favorite puppet now, I'm in the mood to play…

Itachi: _looks_ _at with a questioning glare, glad someone interrupted his execution. Sasori stops and turns his head_ WTF?

Sasori: Kankuro? What are you doing here? Aren't you like… busy fucking Kiba and hiding your affair from me though everyone knows you're doing the both of us?

Kankuro: You knew? Oh well… Naruto's more of a whore than I'll ever be, and he's the Uke… Hahaha… Well, how about it?

Sasori: Sure, let's go! walks over to Kankuro and the two stalk off.

Itachi: What just happened?

Deidara: _blank_

Itachi: Wanna… see my pony?

Deidara: You've got a pony?

Itachi: Oh yeah, and it wants a good ride…

Deidara: Is it big? Is it?

Itachi: You bet.

Deidara: oh…

Itachi: I'll let you pet the… head if you want too.

Deidara: Let's go _ignorant_

Itachi: smirks Let's, I'll show you the way…

…

- In Itachi's bedroom –

Itachi: Tobi?

Deidara: Tobi! _glomps Tobi_

Tobi: Wtf?

Itachi: Why are you here?

Tobi: I was waiting for you, we haven't played games in so long…

Deidara: Wait, why are we in your bedroom, Itachi, there's no pony here…

Itachi: takes off his cloak Oh yes, there is, and it wants to play now

Deidara: Show me

Tobi: _gives Itachi a look saying 'Is he really that naïve?_

Itachi: You asked for it…

…

**End Rambling: Okay, as I said, this is enough to make you mentally unstable… my first crack fic… or as me and Sandy called this genre, 'Smug.' Smut Drug – although there is no smut, but there is hinting, and you guys have imagination…**

**Note (07/30/08): I'm writing a sorts of sequel to this, and ItaDei smutty oneshot, which i'll post as a separate story. **

**That was all, excuse the randomness, but my penname should warn you :P**


End file.
